I have overextended myself again. For some reason, I have this belief that I can do anything. I can clean the house, pack everything on my own, entertain the children, help with their homework, maintain the schedule for a family of five, have time for myself and still keep my sanity.
The truth is I cannot do any of this. Packing and getting ready for a move is stressful, and the stress affects each of my daughters differently. The stress affects me differently than it does my husband. Trying to help with their homework causes me stress because I have never been good at math. Yes, my daughters can solve complex math problems that leave me in tears.
My husband deals with stress by avoiding the situation. Instead of planning on helping me this weekend, he is going ice fishing because he needs to relax. Instead of taking care of the girls for an evening by himself, he needs to relax and play on his phone and go to bed early. Right now, my husband is my biggest source of stress and he is avoiding me and the girls.
My health is starting to be affected by everything I am holding inside. I believe that I should be able to handle everything on my own. Years of life experience have taught me that asking for help is a big mistake. People yell, people call me names, people put me down and tell me how useless I am.
Today, I am trying to slow down and take things one task at a time.