The last few weeks have been busy. I have been working with my therapist and my M.D. to become physically and mentally healthy. My belief is that they are connected to each other and I must improve upon both; not just one. In only three weeks, I have gone from a size 16 down to a size 14. None of my clothes fit me well anymore, even with a belt. There is not money in the budget to buy new ones, and since I know I will lose more inches I see no point in buying clothes right now. Yes, I said inches. True, I have lost weight according to the scale, but I have lost inches off my stomach. Enough inches that people are commenting and asking me how I am doing it. My answer is simple: Plexus.
Over the last month, my headaches have decreased and I take almost nothing. For years, I have lived on ibuprofen. During the last month, I have taken it only a handful of times and far less than I did at the beginning of the month. My back has not been bothering me as much either. No freezing up while carrying groceries, no getting tense when I bend over to sweep something up quick. Less physical pain has been a good thing. My moods are not dropping like they did before. I love the fact that I am no longer spending day son the couch, unable to move without extreme pain. My water intake has skyrocketed! My skin is looking rough, but I am getting out all of the nasty stuff that has been building up for years. I am amazed that my hair and nails are growing as fast as they are and the fact that my nails are no longer breaking.
After having a really bad side affect from my anti-depressants, the doctor took me off of them. That was a tough week and I was feeling sick. Now, my chest no longer hurts and I am starting to sleep easier again. I am hoping to go back to the gym this week. Maybe this time I will not get so dizzy and fall over.
This is a big one for me: I have been eating. My normal pattern for years has been to eat only once a day. Since I have gone back to work, I have been eating at least twice a day and sometimes more. No more binge eating late at night. My portions have gone down, I feel full faster and the foods that I am eating are much healthier than the fast food, processed foods and frozen foods I was surviving off of. Brown bagging my lunch each day has really helped.
This is a long process and it will take time. Both of my doctors are working with me to give me advice. My therapist gives me homework. Books she wants me to read, articles she wants me to look up and stress management exercises to practice at home. These are all small steps, but the end result will be worth it. I am finally starting to feel a little bit better. Maybe I will actually be able to achieve my goal of becoming healthy.
Keeping things organized at home is still a daily challenge. The girls are learning more about picking up after themselves-and they do not like it. D- is deciding to rebel by refusing to do her homework and her in-class assignments. The result was spending all of this weekend at home doing two weeks worth of homework and extra chores. She is now claiming this weekend made her feel depressed and she hates her life. Teenagers! She sounds just like I did.
As a family, we are all struggling with making things better. We all developed some bad habits over the last few years. The stress that resulted almost tore our family apart. I try to absorb most of the blame, however, there is plenty to go around. Having your children tell you that you are abusive because you expect them to clean their room is just wrong. It also hits the face like a ton of bricks covered in solid ice. How did we go so wrong?
My daily mantra has become “all in good time”. If I tell myself this often enough, I might actually start to believe it.